Coffeehouse
by leaffen
Summary: "Since when had there been homeless dudes just camping out on her employer's 500 dollar sofa? Sure, everyone came to piggy-back off of their free WIFI but still, at least those people paid!" Welcome to 'Bean There', a small privately-owned coffeehouse right next to the Lumiose train station! oldrivalshipping, pokeshipping, ikarishipping, contestshipping l slice-of-life
1. 騒音公害 (Noise Pollution) l B

Mandatory disclaimer: I didn't own the 'car 2 go' that May crashed in the second chapter, but if the insurance company needs someone to give money to, I'd be willing to shoulder that responsibility.

第１章 (Chapter One) 騒音公害 (Noise Pollution)

The small coffeehouse by the Lumiose train station had always been a place of great relaxation for Dawn. With its french-styled doors, continuous pratter of two furosha, and smell of freshly ground beans, it was definitely a hole-in-the-wall, once-in-a-lifetime find.

Wait.

What?

Feeling a shiver go up her spine, she froze and took a moment to reevaluate that thought.

_'Furosha?' _

Since when had there been homeless dudes just camping out on her employer's ¥ 50,000 sofa?! Sure, everyone came to piggy-back off of their free WIFI but still, at least those people paid.

Without buying, without asking, and _certainly without showering first_, they had brought in a plethora of office supplies and oddities and were sprawled on the couch, plugging away at their devices. The one with a mop of messy black hair had finally had enough and fell back, hair flopping in front of his eyes as his cheeks puffed out.

"I've had enough, this is boring. When are you going to take me clubbing like you promised?"

"Hurry up, moron, we have a business to run," The other one muttered, blue eyes never leaving his own outdated, clunky "computer of the future".

"Never trust Bell for good electronics," Dawn found herself commenting before the grunt of her manager, just back from unloading the deliveries, snapped her out of it. Setting down the grinder, she straightened her apron and cheerfully decorated name tag before attempting to burst dramatically from behind the counter. Unfortunately, this is a comedy, not a crime drama, and she forgot the door swung the other way.

"Oof!"

_'Get it together, Dawn!"_

"Excuse me, you need to leave," She said, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she tried to rescue the remains of her dignity.

"Why?"

Eyes flicking up to examine her before returning to the computer, it was the brunette who had answered.

Dawn huffed and stamped her foot out of habit, unused to such treatment. Being born into a relatively well-off family (that term applied loosely, she was far from just "relatively"), she was always a big deal and others usually dropped everything to listen to her. As a daddy's girl, especially with who her father was, she was no joke.

_"Why? WHY?!"_ She nearly shrieked, taking several moments to calm herself before continuing.

"You need to buy something, we aren't a homeless shelter."

_Ouch._

Okay, that might've been a bit much but for Christ's sake, she had already had it up to her eyebrows with her manager's shit and she didn't have anymore room for anyone else.

The brunette raised a small sample cup like a salute, a tiny puddle of their free creamer resting at the bottom.

"I made myself chocolate milk from your little stand over there."

_'Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out.'_

"That…doesn't...count… The milk and chocolate powder are for paying customers only." She fought hard to not slug the man but knew she'd probably do little more than scratch him.

"My presence in your puny mortal life should be enough payment," He scoffed, a smug smirk plastered on his insufferably handsome face.

Oh screw it, a scratch was better than nothing and she'd cover him in scratches by the time she was done. In fact- "Just stop it, Berlitz."

Paul, already done with stacking the bags, had come out to see what the commotion was about and couldn't help the sigh when he saw who had started it.

_'Of course it was Dawn. '_

"See, Manager Dude's alright with-" The annoying one who had whined earlier started before he was cut off by Paul.

"Not really. Hand over your wallets and do it quickly, the toilets need plunging and I'm sure they'd make better company than you two."

Dawn chuckled and stuck her nose up a bit, feeling as if she was finally victorious before Paul turned to face her again. "Troublesome, what've I told you about your work ethic? Get back to work, our regulars will be here in a few minutes."

Hand lightly patting her head as he walked towards the bathroom, the mens' wallets (reluctantly handed over while Dawn mentally patted herself on the back) in hand, Paul still kept his usual frown on but that didn't discourage the grin that split Dawn's face. Sure, he was a hard boss and emotionally stagnant but sometimes, on rare occasions, he could be her favorite person.

She sent the two "homeless" men one last triumphant look before stalking back behind the counter to continue brewing. The electronic beep of her watch's alarm drew her smile even wider as she began to work faster in anticipation, counting down the minutes until her best friend, and regular at the shop, showed up for her daily brew.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes?!" Dawn nearly jumped the counter then instantly drooped in disappointment. "Oh. It's you. What do you need?"

It was the cocky git from before.

He shot her an award-winning smile with his perfectly straight, white teeth.

_Oh how she wanted to punch them crooked and bloody._

"Can I have two iced lattes, please?"

"Have a credit card, _sir_?" She gritted her own vaguely askew but pearly teeth, trying to resist the temptation of beating him.

He slid a shining gold rectangle of plastic across the counter with another smile and leaned forward a bit, "Certainly, _Mam_."

Dawn snatched up the card with a glare and checked the name as she swiped it.

_'Gary Oak? Gary Oak as in...'_

She squeaked and nearly dropped it as she handed it back. "Your grandfather...wouldn't be the famous…Professor Oak….would it?"

Shrugging, Gary moved aside to examine the freshly baked cookies on display before replying, "Yes. He's also the reason Ash and I have decided to show up at your...quaint...little shop to pull all-nighters helping sort data."

"Doesn't he have offices in all the major regions, though? Why send you here?" As her curiosity won her over, Dawn had forgotten her previous animosity as she poured the ice into his cup before sealing it with a snap.

"Yeah, he does, but it's more fun keeping him in the dark freaking out until we suddenly reappear with everything done. Thanks for the drink by the way, Miss Dawn," He said with a smirk, grasping the drinks and heading back to his seat.

He was the devil.

Actually, no, she worked for the devil.

Gary was on a whole new level.

_12:30_

It was rush hour.

Thank you for reading and reviewing and I can't wait to hear from you guys! m(_)m


	2. アルバイトの人 (Part-Timers) l E

**第 2 章 (Chapter Two) アルバイトの人 (Part-Timers)**

* * *

"Did you know a new coffee shop moved in next to us?" Leaf asked, fingers tapping 'S.O.S.' in morse code on the counter as she waited for her shift to be over. Standing next to her with an equally bored expression was a red-headed waitress whose own hands were tightly clenching a ceramic mug in an attempt to not burn down the whole place.

Misty let loose a long hiss, the air slowly brushing past her clenched teeth. "Why'd we decide to work at Staryubucks rather than...well...I don't know, someplace where we could earn more than minimum wage?"

"College graduation is in a few months; no degree, no good job. Besides, after Gary disappeared, Professor Oak's medical bills have gotten even worse. He's like a walking heart attack because of that idiot. "

"Fucking dumbass, he should now better at this age…."

Misty groaned at the college bit.

"Did you have to remind me?"

"Well, you asked…"

The redhead closed her eyes and thought back to her anger management classes, desperately grasping at straws to keep cool. Then again, those classes came to an abrupt end when the teacher, so irate from an afternoon trying to get Misty to think positively, had jumped out of a window.

She was still sending out condolence letters.

_Sigh._

"It's good weather for an arson."

Misty raised an eyebrow, "You get the flamethrower, I'll stock up on ice cream, and we'll meet each other at eight."

Leaf smiled just the tiniest bit and glanced down at her watch. "Hardcore man, hardcore. Forty seconds left until freedom."

"I can't dooooo thiiiiiis anymoooo-SHIT!"

Just as she was going to finish whining,a loud crash of thunder shook her out of it. Rubbing her arms, Misty tried to rid herself of the goosebumps. "Is it time yet?"

"Yup."

Quickly changing and clocking out, they gathered their things and paused at the threshold of the cafe.

"Do you think it'll rain?" Leaf chewed her lower lip in contemplation, rifling through her bag in case she had brought an umbrella.

"Nah, we'll be fine."  
"If you say so."

With that, the two young women stepped out onto the filthy streets of Lumiose and headed off to check out the neighborhood.

* * *

It had been an awful day. To be fair, every day was an awful day to May, today was just a little more devastating to her mental sanity. She had punched in a few hours early to get the overtime bonus, rearranged all the documents in the inbox according to her boss' prefered system of organization (what shade of cream the paper was), and kept one of her coworker's children busy so he didn't try and fax his butt on their high-tech, expensive scanner again.

Playing babysitter wasn't in the job description.

"I should get paid extra," May muttered, rubbing her grumbling stomach as she waited for the insurance claims to get forwarded to her computer. She would've taken a lunch break but Mr. Hayden had practically forbidden it, the root cause being the fact that the faxed butt scan had been sent to _his_ email via _her_ computer. How the boy even got on when she had only left for the break room once was beyond her.

"I'm leaving, good work everyone, see you tomorrow!"

Speak of the devil.

Drew. Flowerpot. Hayden.

Lovely. She was without lunch and patience and he, despite being able of both body and mind, got to head home first. The day hadn't even really started yet! She wasn't all that familiar with foreign work policies but there must've been something in Kalo's laws that said _something_ about this.

Wrinkling her nose and waving a rather unfriendly finger at his turned back, May couldn't help but think, "Have fun, asshole. I hope you throw up your thousand-dollar coffee all over your sparkling clean marble floors."

The whole floor inhaled deeply and she paused. As it took a moment for her to realize that she had not only thought but also said such a thing, Drew had that time to whirl around and flounce over to her. Oh Arceus. He _flounced_.

Despite the fact that he was berating her, the only thing on May Maple's twenty-two year old airheaded brain was that Drew, the Flowerpot Hayden, had _bounced_ over in exaggerated rage. Once they started, she couldn't stop the giggles that poured forth.

"C-C-Can you walk over again? I want to get this on camera!" She gasped out between breaths.

As his face turned a bright maroon, he shook with irritation. "Look here, April-"

"Is it already time for the tomatoes to sprout? You better hurry along to the fields, your brethren are waiting for you."

"That's it! You're fired! You don't even deserve a pink slip, it's a waste of trees just like you living is a waste of air! Get out now!"

As the gravity of her situation hit her, May visibly deflated, the smile on her face dissipating. "I-I…"

"Shut up. You know what? Get your camera out now and you can video tape me walking away to write your letter of dismissal," Drew hissed, whirling around to stalk off in an overly dramatic way. Sure, the boy would probably marry Harley (Arceus knows they're both drama queen), but May couldn't deny that he looked _good_ in those jeans.

Chucking her styrofoam cup away, she logged off her computer with an uneasy smile, treading out without looking anyone in the eye as she entered the elevator. "It's not like you liked your job, anyways. This is a great opportunity to start over, to do something you really like," May mumbled. As she stepped out into the lobby and crossed the street towards the parking lot, she groaned. The 'Goat 2 Go' she usually took to work was snatched up by another card holder. Walking didn't seem like much of a choice, either, because the clouds from earlier had finally had enough and it was raining cats and dogs out there.

_'The next bus isn't until two hours from now but Dawn's expecting me...'_

Screw singing in the rain, she was going to cuss out her boss in the downpour.

* * *

"I don't care if she was your mistress or the queen of England, she's damn fired and there's no way in hell I'm letting March or whatever her name was back into the company," Drew hissed into his blackberry as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Where am I? At a Rolling Rocks concert,_ obviously_." The sarcasm oozing out of him was slowly gathering into his head, inflating it more than his ego already had. Heck, the amount of venom a businessman usually excreted within an hour was enough to kill a cobra.

He hung up quickly, pocketing the phone as he marched into the coffee shop. 'Bean There' was relatively new but had received five stars on 'Help!' ((A/N: Yelp parody, ya get it? Yey.)) and as far as he was concerned, that was good enough. Nothing killed a migraine like a hot cup of coffee and an even hotter one-night stand but he was too high up to indulge in any "unsavory" practices or he'd lose it all.

"Welcome to 'Bean There' and we hope you'll enjoy our punny name just as much as you will our drinks," Paul recited dully from behind the counter, somehow tricked into the job as head "waitress" by Dawn.

He still didn't get why she had placed the cat ears on his head but it didn't matter, the ears made Troublesome happy and when she was happy, she was just the tiniest bit less troublesome.

Drew deadpanned, unsure whether or not to fall to the ground laughing, ask to snap a picture for the boys back at the office, or to help his friend keep the remains of his dignity.

"Why hello, little kitty, I didn't realize they let animals work here."

Being empathetic was something Drew had yet to figure out.

Paul's eye twitched as he tried to remain calm. "Why hello there, you sonofabitch, I didn't realize assholes had refined ta-"

"Paul, shut up!" Dawn scolded, glaring at him for a moment before turning to Drew with a friendly smile. "I'm so sorry for his behavior, what would you like to drink?"

It took a moment for the two men to get over her rapid mood change but when they did, Drew turned to Paul with a raised eyebrow, commencing a conversation amongst friends that only they could understand.

_'Girlfriend?'_

Paul shot him a horrified look, _'What the hell, man?!'_

_'Nice job, she's hot.'_

_'Drew. No.'_

_'Whyyyyyy?!'_

_'Seriously, we talked about this. You can't just-'_

"Well...I have no idea what the heckie you two are doing but um...I don't have osmosis so...I'll just…go back to cleaning out the coffee pots…" Dawn trailed off, cobalt eyes flicking between the two cluelessly until she gave up, spinning around to walk briskly to the sink and scrub at the stained pots and mugs.

Now that she was gone, Drew went back to talking normally and handed Paul the cash. "Well whatever's going on, be sure to invite me to the reception."

Paul glared at him but took the money and set to making his friend's regular mochachino. Not only was Drew high-maintenance as a person, he had expensive and annoyingly complicated requests half the time.

"Please drink it right away, I want to hear you scream in pain while your ugly mug is still visible," He muttered, shoving the cup towards the green-haired menace.

"If you want to see an ugly mug, just look in the mirror." Drew smiled cheerfully and raised his cup, "Cheers~"

Paul couldn't resist a small smirk and shook his head, "Up yours, you git."

_Ring-a-ding-ding_

Before Drew could reply with a mildly inappropriate (and vaguely sexist in the normal manner of his) comment, two women walked in, enveloped in a heated argument until one of them-the one with long brown hair-stopped dead in her tracks.

"Gary the Fucking Oak where the hell have you been?!" Leaf nearly screamed at the brunette lounging on the sofa.

Freezing, he shot her a mortified look and hurriedly shot out of his seat, making a run for the back door .

Lunging after the man, Leaf practically tackled him, clinging fiercely to his back as they fell to the floor.

"Just falling all over me in public, such impropriety Leafy," Gary mocked, gasping for breath as she moved him into a headlock position.

"Is that really what you want to say after leaving for an entire month without notice?! Do you know I filed a missing person report?! Your grandfather nearly had a _seizure_ and I had to cancel our plans with the-" She choked, trying to keep from crying.

Paul raised an eyebrow and casually raised a hand flippantly, not unlike a child correcting their teacher. "Please murder your boyfriend in the back alley, it's bad for business if we get shut down so the police can investigate a crime scene."

Leaf flushed red and she crawled off of Gary, somewhat ashamed she had let herself act in such a manner before strangers.

"It's nice to know you missed me," Gary muttered, rubbing at his neck and wincing.

Misty couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance mixed in with the second-hand embarrassment she had acquired from watching this. "You realize you just up and left without any sort of notice and have been...well, whatever the hell you wanted while your family and friends have been worrying?"

Hearing all the commotion, Dawn walked out of the kitchen to join the ruckus and smiled up at Paul, "It's certainly been getting lively recently, hasn't it?"

Paul groaned and rubbed at his temples as Gary pulled an irritated Leaf into his arms and stroked her hair making soothing noises while she struggled to get away, kicking at his ankles and stepping on his feet. "That's one way to put it, Troublesome."

"Aren't you glad we're not like those other couples?" Dawn laughed then slapped a hand over her mouth, glancing at him nervously before looking anywhere but him.

"I wasn't aware we were a couple," He deadpanned and she turned even more red.

"I...erm...didn't mean it like that...Just...we work...peacefully...at this shop and-"

Thankfully, she was interrupted by a soaking wet woman on a roll and Ash back from the toilet bursting into the room simultaneously.

With just one look at the arguing couple wrestling on the floor (/coughs/somehow those two always ended up on the floor/coughs/), two embarrassed co-workers, and redhead ranting to no one in particular, the two newcomers groaned.

"I always miss all the interesting bits!"

Because, of course, eight angry coeds in a small coffeehouse was destined to be interesting. To make it even better, with the appearance of the bandanna-clad woman, they had realized it was pouring outside and between them all, not a single one of them had an umbrella.

Letting out a collective_ "Shit",_ everyone in the room was finally on the same page.


	3. 職務要件(Job Requirements) l A

Wow, three chapters already! I hope you enjoy this one~

**第 3 章 (Chapter Three) 職務要件(Job Requirements)**

* * *

Quite amazingly, the rain continued on without any hint of stopping, turning the collective cursing into one giant sigh.

Ash was always a rather oblivious person and, unable to read the mood, he just rubbed at his neck. "So...anyone care to explain?"

Paul sighed and tugged his apron off, looking beyond done with everyone. "If anyone needs me, I'll be planning your deaths in the break room," He muttered and trudged off, Dawn closely following his heels.

"Things suddenly got awkward…" May blinked, looking around at everyone before spotting Drew, her jaw dropping.

_"Flower Pot!"_

Looking at her with an equally horrified face, mirroring Gary's from just a few moments ago, Drew staggered back and pointed an accusing finger at her.

_"April!"_

"It's not April!" She whined and he started ruffling his hair, lost in his own world.

"Is this punishment for something?! First she shows up at my work and now I'm seeing March at _my_ panic room?! Should I just give up and be a priest?! It's such a waste with my gorgeous hair, though. They say once you do a nun, you join the church for life… I knew I should've just passed but all judgement just kinda flies after twenty shots- "

May, having quite enough by now, sloshed her sopping wet self over to him and casually started bear hugging the man, making sure to wring her clothing all over his expensive suit.

"It's _May_, Flower Pot."

Gawking at her, Drew let out an undignified snort and dabbed repeated at his suit with a stack of napkins. "It's _Armani_, June!"

Ash tilted his head to the side, still completely lost, and stared at Drew. "You were named after a brand name? I guess rich people really do have strange tastes…"

"My name is DREW, Andrew B.S. Hayden the second," He managed, face turning an even more violent color than his hair..

Raising an eyebrow, Gary stopped stroking Leaf's hair for a moment and whipped out a business card. "Hello Mr. Foreigner, I'd like to make good business with you," He spoke slowly, as if he thought Drew wouldn't be able to understand.

"Dumbass, we're all foreigners," Leaf muttered, giving up already and just standing there, wrapped in his embrace, with a heavily annoyed expression.

After a few moments of silence, Misty yawned. "Well...This is adorable and all but...um...I thought we were going to get coffee and then go back home and watch stupid movies…?" She raised an eyebrow and Leaf instantly turned red, pushing away from Gary and moving to stand defensively behind Misty.

May, up until this point, hadn't realized she had been aggressively hugging Drew longer than necessary and broke away as well, leaving both of them with a burning red face.

Laughing, Ash took this all in stride and glanced curiously at Misty before starting towards the hallway. "I'll just go get the workers, we'll order a few cups 'o joe, and settle down to explain ourselves, alright?" He sent them a boyishly cute grin and disappeared into the corridor.

"Hm...Who knew Ashy Boy could be so responsible?"

Gary smirked and made a move to hug Leaf again but was blocked by a fiercely protective Misty.

"Touch her and you're dead, Ass-wipe."

As the smirk disappeared from his face, it reappeared on Leaf's and she stuck her tongue out at him.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"The cat ears look cute on you…" Dawn chuckled nervously as Paul plopped down in a chair, exhausted and irritated to the max. He sent a glare her way and she winced but slightly but didn't back down, staring him straight in the eyes as she sat next to him.

_'God his eyes.'_

Face turning crimson, she looked away quickly and stood up quickly, her chair flying back with the force of her actions. "I-I-I'll go get some blankets! You must be cold like that!" Running out of the room quickly, she jogged into the locker room and proceeded to bang her head against her cubby.

"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot! How can his eyes be "hot"?! Besides, he's your _boss_, that means no touchy-touchy!"

Dawn moaned and grabbed a thick wool blanket she had brought for her breaks, stuffing her face into it to scream before heading back. What the _hell_ was she thinking, anyways?! She was only what, 20? Paul was already 22 and while that wasn't a huge gap, he probably had much more refined tastes. He'd look good with a traditional beauty, a quiet, polite girl straight out of the top school with a background in care and treatment of abused animals…

"I must be a maso," She groaned again and opened the door. "Paul, I-" she stopped short, voice fading away quickly as she saw him asleep on the table, dark purple strands falling in front of his eyes, bits catching on his long eyelashes.

Taking great pains to remain silent, she tip-toed up to him and gently draped the blanket around his form, tucking it in and trying to cover his hands and ankles so they wouldn't get cold.

"Troublesome…don't-"

_'What?'_

She froze, worried he might've been awake all this time then breathing a sigh of relief.

_'Of course, he's just talking in his sleep...'_

Dawn bent down and brushed his hair away from his face, fingertips lingering a bit too long on his cheek. Of course this was horrible, she had no business with him, they were just co-workers but...but...he looked so-

"Ne, Worker-sans, can you-" Ash turned red and he immediately turned away from the room, hands covering his eyes. "S-Sorry...I thought you were just taking a break…"

Hand quickly withdrawing, Dawn stumbled back a few steps, quickly bending into a bow as her hair covered her blazing red face. "N-N-No, it was my fault! I'm sorry, I'll be there in a moment…"

He nodded and rushed away, trying hard to forget what he had walked in on. With one last glance at Paul, Dawn withdrew from the room, shutting the door quietly before following Ash out to the store's front.

* * *

Paul's eyes slowly opened, giving in to the red haze that overtook his face, hand over his mouth. Was he sick? Was this normal? She was just a coworker, just a co-

_"No."_

As much as he wanted to deny it, she wasn't. He had already made this mistake once; being logical and detached kept the deep, knife-like pain from reaching him but to feel something...To feel anything...it would be worth it.

He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Why do you have to be so troublesome, Idiot?"

_'Don't fall for me.'_

The remainder of his "sleep talking" went unsaid but echoed throughout the break room.

Paul forced himself to stand up, running a hand through his purple locks and setting the blanket on the table in a crumpled pile. He had work to do, he wouldn't get paid for just standing around after all.

_The hole where his heart use to be burned._

* * *

A/N: I'm not really feeling Coin anymore...Would you prefer a half-hearted idol story [(oinlnio)] or a new fantasy one?


	4. Chapter 4 : 傘(Umbrella) l N

**第 4 章 (Chapter Four) 傘(Umbrella)**

* * *

"So...How are you all related to each other...again?" Dawn blinked, staring at all of them with wide eyes as she took a sip from her mug. The young woman was sitting on top of the wooden counter while the other adults had gathered a few chairs around the register. In line with his normal behavior, Paul had chosen to lean back against the wall next to the coffee pots, hidden a bit by the shadow of the ceiling.

"Pay attention, Troublesome. Leaf is Gay's long-time girlfriend. He left without notice several months ago and just reappeared here with Ash to work on a project for his grandfather. Ash and Misty are old traveling companions and went on a trek through Johto as a celebratory "We're done with high school" deal and those two knew Leaf and Gary from Kanto. Just as it so happens, I'm friends with Drew here, who was May's boss until she quit or he fired her. Those two haven't spoken an intelligent sentence in years so I'm not sure what exactly happened."

Everyone stared at Paul in shock for a moment and he shrugged, "You could fill hundreds of little black books if you bothered to listen instead of talk all the time."

Gary chuckled nervously at this and chugged down his third cup of coffee, his leg jittering from both the caffeine and nervousness as he tried to avoid Leaf's continuous glare. Glaring at him, Leaf snatched his cup away and slammed a hand down on his leg to keep it still.

"I'm going to beat you if you keep that up, too much of this stuff is bad for you." She scolded as Misty rolled her eyes.

"You shouldn't care so much. If he's going to die of anything, let it be through his own actions."

Drew yawned and nibbled on a scone he had stolen from May. "This is as boring as your inventory reports, April."

"It's May, Flower Pot."

The awkward silence between them all stretched longer than a fruit roll up before Ash broke the thin ice. A puzzled look on his face, he stared at May for a moment before his eyes lit up as an epiphany hit him.

"April showers bring May flowers!" He looked around at everyone with a lopsided smile and they all groaned.

"So?" Dawn raised an eyebrow as she fiddled with the ribbons on the cookie jar.

"It's been raining a lot! The gardens at Parfum Palace will be gorgeous this year~"

Deflating, they all gave up on Ash and any chance at a conversation as the rain continued to pour.

* * *

-Several long hours later-

"I will shove your head into the toilet and give you a new hairdo if you don't shut up!" May growled as Paul tried to hold her back, the woman tied to a chair with an apron while Drew smirked, just barely out of arm's' reach.

Dawn groaned and shoved another cookie into May's mouth while Leaf had fallen asleep in Gary's lap and Misty and Ash debated the best sort of public transport. The answer? None.

Laughter ringing out, Drew shrugged at May and glanced down at his watch. "I can't help it that I'm better looking, more intelligent, and a hell lot more wealthy than you. I mean, sure, you probably get a few dates but I'm guessing they're caught using Brockslist. Do you come with a coupon as well?"

Well...if that _wasn't_ the final straw, the game was headed into overtime.

The cookie had muffled most of the cursing and May eventually gave up, resigned to savoring the chocolate and glaring tempestuously at him.

_'I swear to Arceus I'm going to run you over with a lawn mower and let's see how much you wanna tease me then.'_

Paul sighed and Dawn handed him a cup of coffee; about to say something inevitably optimistic, she froze when the lights began to flicker and suddenly shut off. The constant hum of the air conditioner faded away and the fans slowed to a halt, the coffee machines squeezing out one last drop before they threw in the rag.

Everything was quiet. Well, it would've been except the silence awoke Leaf, provoking a shriek as she rolled off of the couch and onto the floor. They turned to face her and she sat up shakily, the shade of red spread across her cheeks turning more violent by the second.

"What's wrong?" Gary asked, leaning down in concern.

Face-palming, Ash trudged off to the bathroom to get away from what would most certainly turn into more fighting. For once, he had made the right choice.

"Head-lap-your-HNG!" Leaf's fingers spazzed as she tried to communicate effectively. Having just woken up, of course, meant that her vocabulary and ability to express herself had been severely limited and she was blubbering off until Gary slid down next to her and started to smooth down her messy hair.

May shrugged and finished her cookie before speaking, "You just fell asleep on his lap, it's not a big deal."

Slapping Gary's hands away, Leaf combed through her hair with a hand and wrinkled her nose. "I have no desire to encourage him. He's never going to let this go-"

"Dear, I'm never going to let you go," Gary smirked, ignoring her irritated squeals as he resumed fixing her hair.

Suddenly looking up from her winning streak on 'Flappy Pidgey', Misty raised an eyebrow and snorted. "You two squabble like an old couple."

"Troublesome, have you checked the things in the refrigerator yet?" Paul asked suddenly.

Dawn dropped her crossword puzzle and ran into the back room shrieking something about ice cream cakes, much to the amusement of everyone in the room but him.

"She's going to burn down the store one day when I'm not here, that troublesome girl."

Smirking, Drew didn't bother looking up from his newspaper. "Better tie the knot quickly, then. There's no knowing how dangerous it is for her living alone."

After a few minutes, Dawn came back, Ash following closely behind and staggering under the weight of a large ice cream cake. "This won't fit into the cooler so we might as well eat it... " She sighed and passed out spoons before untying May.

"Ah, Daaawn, you should've kept her tied up!" Ash cried as May began to stuff most of the ice cream down. A competitive spirit awakening, he gave up on any manners and soon followed her example, each of them elbowing the other out of the way.

Leaf, who had given up on resisting Gary and had just sat there in resignation until now, crawled over and shoved both of them out of the way to take a bit herself. Growling in sleepy irritation as the two adult vultures circled her warily, Leaf finished up half the cake then crawled back to the couch to lay down again, kicking Gary as she adjusted herself.

"Wouldn't she make a great mother?" He smirked and Ash shot him a look.

"I guess love really _does _blind…"

Laughing, Dawn glanced over at her manager,"Isn't this fun?"

"Yeah, in a 'I really want to kill myself right now' way." Paul frowned and stared at everyone making themselves at home. "Are you sure there're no umbrellas here?"

"Positive. You should learn to enjoy yourself more, this wouldn't be as awful if you would just smile…"

His eye twitched and he turned away sharply. "I'm going to stand under the canopy for a bit."

"Can I-"

"No."

The door slammed shut behind him and the little bell fell off, bouncing once before rolling to a stop at her feet. Off in the corner, Drew was teaching Ash lame pickup lines, Gary and May were trying to convince Misty to play a drinking game later that night, and Leaf was muttering insults in her sleep. The shop had never been more noisey but for some reason...for some reason, Dawn had never felt more lonely.

She sighed and plopped down in a chair. Dawn could feel the beginning of sleep take her but knew that when she awoke, she'd be far from well-rested.

* * *

Paul ran a hand through his hair, knocking the cat ears off. _'I had forgotten about those.'_ He perched on the window in a loose ball, resting a cheek on his knee. The soothing static of rain murmured in the background but for now, things were finally silent.

"Thank Arceus."

His own voice startled him. Since when had it been so cold, so rough? It made everything seem sarcastic and rude…

His storming out of the shop wasn't necessarily because he was annoyed, he just _missed_ the quiet simplicity of it just being Troublesome and him. In a single second these strangers had just appeared and didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. Heck, Dawn seemed to have become friends with them already. Where did that leave him? Would this be the beginning of the end or like the day he had gained a new coworker?

* * *

_She was clumsy. Scratch that, she was a walking disaster. Dawn Berlitz, the famous socialite herself, wanted to work at his shop._

_"What'd I ever do to deserve this?" He muttered under his breath, staring with mild disdain at the bright yellow and pink blob of cheerfulness that his ad had dragged in._

_"Has anyone ever told you that you're like driftwood?"_

_"Excuse me?"_

_She blinked, long eyelashes reaching down to kiss her cheekbones before her cobalt irises stared at him curiously._

_He couldn't help but think he saw a glimmer of intelligence in those eyes. Later, he learned he was wrong._

This girl was more than just a tiny bit intelligent.

_"Never mind." Paul skimmed her portfolio. "So why do you want to work here?"_

_The way her lips formed each word was like a swinging pendulum. He was mesmerized._

_"-and I want to make it myself without Dad's help."_

_"Excuse me, what?" _Shit._ 'You're supposed to be listening.'_

_She blushed, looking down nervously. "It's nothing. I need the experience and coffee has always had a soothing smell."_

After several weeks, he would know that aroma therapy was the only way to calm her anxiety.

_"I see…" There was no way in hell he'd let this idiot onto his team. She might as well apply for Staryubucks. He wanted only the-_

_"Sir?"_

_"I'm not that much older than you."_

_"I'm not good at much but I'll try my best. Please."_

_"Alright." What was he doing?!_

_Her mouth formed a delicate 'o', tearing up as she stood up and bent over, folding over rapidly and repeatedly. He could barely count the bows of gratitude._

There were thirteen in total that day.

_Sighing, he swept past her but paused at the doorway. "One thing."_

_She froze and straightened, looking at him with a steely determination to fulfil any and all requests. "Yes?"_

_"Don't forget to tie your hair up, alright Troublesome?"_

_The giggles pouring forth wouldn't stop until the hiccups and "goodnight, see you tomorrow"s came at closing time._

Dawn Berlitz, the famous socialite, was not nearly as shallow as he imagined.

* * *

Awakening with a stiff feeling in his neck, it took a moment for Paul to notice the absence of rain. He stretched and winced at his cracking joints and stumbled inside where everyone was already enjoying another round of freshly brewed coffee.

"Paul!" Dawn smiled brightly at him and offered a mug, which he took grudgingly, before hanging her apron up on her hook. "The girls and I are going to watch a movie, is that alright?"

"Whatever." It wasn't like anything was going to get done today, it was a Monday after all.

Her smile grew larger and she gave him a quick hug before running to grab her bag and jacket. On the way back, her toe nudged something and she glanced down, her smile fading as she stared at the cylinder with horror. Picking it up, Dawn felt like crying. All this time...it...had been knocked out of her cubby by the blanket…

"Guys...don't hate me…" She whimpered. Everyone turned around to stare at her and then face-palmed, feeling both irritated and like sobbing.

In her hand was a large, clear umbrella.

"Troublesome, you frickin'_ idiot_."

It could cover eight.

* * *

**Responding to comments corner~**

**XxCherriesandChocolatexX-Thanks so much for coming back to this weird stor I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope these chapters have lived up to your expectations~**

**AllTheRage- XD I like your username. That's good, thanks for your input!**

**GuiltyCrown09- Pfft lol Ty~ I'll try!**

**Ready to Fly- Awww, you're too sweet ; 7 ; I'm glad you enjoyed it!**

**Katz Monster- Ty! I hope this chapter is alright!**


	5. 恋相談 (Love Consultations) l

第 5 章 (Chapter Five) 恋相談 (Love Consultations)

* * *

Waking up feeling refreshed was something Gary had never experienced. The early bird didn't catch the worm, it slammed into a windshield because it was too tired. His smart phone then a razor were the first things he picked up in the morning and breakfast wouldn't come until seven hours later.

Viagra-sponsored junk, the latest complaint from Professor Oak, Red's newsletter, and a few emails asking him for a date were all filed neatly away into his 'spam' folder before he had even stumbled out of bed.

"I swear, Red's weekly letters make him sound like an overly perky soccer mom." He muttered. The apartment bathroom was hardly longer than he was, forcing Ash and Gary to dog pile over the sink, fighting for glances into the mirror to check if they had missed a strip of hair.

Ash rolled his eyes and flicked the water off of his razor. "Have some respect for my bro."

"You know you agree with me."

"Fine, he does, but he's a newlywed so cut him some slack." Slipping out of the bathroom, Ash headed towards the kitchen. "Toast and eggs or cereal?"

Gary finished up as well and went the opposite way, back into his room to change. "Just toast. I'm going to greet our new neighbors downstairs, try not to burn down the room while I'm gone."

"Just promise you won't cause a national scandal!" The smell of burning wheat drifted lazily around while the fire alarm had a field day, not stopping until Ash had beaten the batteries out of it.

Yup, seven hours until Gary got any real food.

"How about a world-wide one? I could hit up all the ministers' daughters in one go." The brunette smirked. Grabbing a set of keys and slinging on his grey hooded jacket, he headed out the door while Ash sputtered.

* * *

"You complain about the food and I'll shank you." Misty slid a couple of french toast stick onto Leaf's plate, looking awfully intimidating for someone dressed in an apron, blue spandex shorts, and a cheap white tank. Her long, stainless steel and incredibly sharp spatula glinted in the morning light and Leaf gulped.

"I-"

"Shut up and eat. I'm going to take a shower and if you used up all the hot water for today, I'll boil you alive tomorrow."

As her roommate shuffled away, Leaf suppressed a smirk. There were obvious holes in that plan, though she knew better than to correct her friend. The only thing scarier than a drunk Misty was a tired one. Redheads, can't live with or without them.

Finishing up, she washed the dishes and set them away to dry. It was still raining outside but had calmed down since yesterday. _'Hm...I wonder if the costume will fit under my umbrella...' _Well, the only way to find out was to try. "I'm heading out!"

"Don't forget to take the trash with you!" Misty yelled from the bathroom and she rolled her eyes, grabbing the large plastic bag after switching her inside shoes for flats. Despite hurting after a few hours, they were easy to put on. Laziness always decided the important decisions; she wasn't going to go against her nature this early in the morning.

"Will do-"

**Bzz.**

_'A visitor?' _Leaf set the bag down and crept nervously to the door, slowly unlocking it.

* * *

"Let's see...95B…is right here." Gary glanced down at his watch and raised a hand hesitantly. 'Would they even be awake right now?' Oh whatever.

**Bzz.**

The door started to open and he gulped. First impressions are everything. "Hey, I'm Gary and I live right above you. Just in case you're wondering, I'm totally single-"

"No you're not."

* * *

Paul sighed and stared at his latest worker. Dawn had texted him all night long begging him to hire May and he had to agree sooner or later. It wasn't even like he had a soft spot or anything, at the rate she was going, she'd use up all his prepaid minutes and it was bothersome re-filling his phone. Taking responsibility for all the serving and improving their customer service reviews already, May didn't seem to be that bad of a worker. She pulled her own weight and was a bit arrogant at times but it could've been a lot worse.

He scratched his chin and set another sack of beans down. In a way, she was like Drew.

Sending him a small smile, Dawn dropped off a cup of iced coffee next to him and paused. "Miss Celesta is coming back soon."

"She's _what?!_"

His eyes bugged out as he started to cough violently. This was _not_ good, not good at all. The last time his boss had made an appearance, she had nearly destroyed her own store. Not only was Lyra irresponsible and moody, the gifts she brought back were just plain freaky.

Dawn laughed and patted his back. "I'll make sure to replace all the ceramics with plastic until she leaves, don't worry. Besides, those voodoo dolls she always brings are really helpful."

"_Yeah,_ I'm sure _you'd_ use-"

Paul trailed off as she winked at him, finger raised to her mouth, shushing him before she ran to aid May with an overloaded tray. Sometimes, there were things about her that he just didn't want to know.

* * *

"No you aren't," The brunette grinned. She wiped her hands on her jumper, smearing pastel red all over her sides as she held out a hand for a high five.

Gary rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and shot her a smile. He casually slapped her hand and then glanced down to see if any paint had rubbed off on him. "Nice to see you, Lyra. How's Silver holding up?"

"Heh, he couldn't stand a chance against my bone-crushing technique! I nearly broke his arm trying to get his help moving." She opened the door wider and gestured at a faintly embarrassed redhead, caught right in the middle of painting the wall a pastel yellow.

Frozen as if he had been caught committing a crime, Silver stared at Gary for a moment before raising a hand in greeting and turning slowly back to the wall, rubbing the roller mechanically.

"Don't worry, later she'll make up for it later!" He called out in encouragement and Silver fell off of the ladder, face redder than his hair.

Chuckling, Lyra looked him over. "You and Leaf finally tied the knot, I presume?"

"Not really."

"_'Not really'_" She mimicked and prodded his chest with her middle finger. "You better or I'll show you exactly _how _Ethan ended up in the hospital." Her eternal cheerfulness was really quite creepy. Feeling goosebumps spread across his skin, Gary backed away a few steps.

"She doesn't even want to date anymore..."

"And why is that?!"

He reached around her and closed the door on an eavesdropping Silver. "Shh, the neighbors will hear!"

"Why. Is. That?" Lyra raised an eyebrow in warning.

"I disappeared...without notice...six months ago...and haven't been in touch."

She let loose a shriek and clenched at his shoulders in overly-dramatic despair, "Oooooooh it's over for you! Finished! She'll never forgive you!"

"I-I've gotta go to work so...um...see you later?" Delicately prying her fingers away, Gary backed up even further and started to make a run for it.

* * *

Misty plopped down onto the couch. "Who was there?"

"Just a random dude trying to convert me to Nando's Witnesses. I talked with a strange accent and he ran away pretty quickly." The trash bag from before rolled down to Leaf's feet and she slung it over her shoulder. "I'm leaving for real this time, see ya later."

"Bye."

Waving goodbye, she locked the door behind her and padded down to the first floor where she chucked it into the bin and headed out of the apartment's lobby. Her umbrella did little good against the storm but she made it to her job in one piece minus her sopping hair. _'Such a strange outfit...' _Leaf's job on the weekends was to hand out balloons, umbrellas, or flyers depending on the day inside a gigantic, fluffy chick costume; there was so much blackmail potential with this that she hadn't even disclosed the full details to Misty.

A sigh escaped her lips.

Her shift had just started and it was already getting old.

_'My life is a lame late-night comedy skit...'_

In reality, it's even worse, her life is a fanfiction written by a teen girl.

Leaf didn't have to know this just yet but she had her suspicions.

* * *

"I'm _HO~ME~!"_

Head snapping up at the speed of light, it was a wonder why Paul's neck didn't break. It wasn't often that he showed fear but it was written plainly across his face.

Lyra was back.


	6. お土産 (Souvenirs) l T

Sorry about the last chapter, it was written pretty late and I was kinda blocked up but wanted to post something soon This chapter is kinda why there's that "teen" rating so if you're sensitive to somewhat vulgar jokes, then please just avoid this one. Erm...um...also...sorry about the shortness...I've been having a shiet ton of orchestra stuff and finals Q 7 Q

**第 6 章 (Chapter Six) お土産 (Souvenirs)**

.

* * *

It was official, Leaf's assortment of odd jobs were going to be the ruin of her. Not only was it pouring outside but she was stuck in a gigantic mass of feathers due to some boss with a potential furry fetish. No one in the entire country of Kalos above the age of thirteen could possibly find a Big Bird imitation cute. The feathers were falling off and the eyes were a beady red; if Leaf was a betting woman, she'd say this thing had rabies or something.

"Come to the McMooMoo opening night, everything is half off only for today. We look forward to your business," She recited blandly. Handing out flyers was dull work at best and most people just walked away quickly whenever they saw her coming. In fact, anyone who actually headed towards her wouldn't be a customer she'd want to attract.

"Having fun there?"

"Tons." Too preoccupied in her shallow misery, Leaf didn't look up from her papers to see a tall brunette approach. He was running his hand through his spiky hair out of habit and had joined her under the umbrella for several minutes now.

"How about going on a da-"

"Wha-hell no!"

_'I guess that means she's finally noticed me.'_ Gary thought wryly. Taking a moment to enjoy her surprise, he snapped a few shots of Leaf in her costume before leaning against her to take a selfy. "Give me your best squawk, I'm posting this on Instagram"

She swatted at his hand. "G-Gary, please!"

"Aw, look; you're so cute."

"Gary!"

"Leaf~!"

Stomping on his feet indignantly, Leaf huffed. "Don't think this is okay...Asshole.. How did you even know it was me? I took precautions to hide my identity."

"Precautions? You have a name tag that reads 'Leaf' and you've obviously forgotten about that time you proposed to me in a Tweety costume. Now that I think about it, it's kinda the same but ten years later; the police finally found the weed to prove what made everyone so looney" He smirked down at her and nudged the suit, sending another wave of feathers to drift into a puddle. As Leaf glanced down to fact-check, she swore. He was _right._

Now that she thought about it, Gary was always right. The only thing not right about him was his irresponsible playboy act. Actually, hell, that made him even higher up on the yearly "most eligible bachelors list". Women these days seemed to be masochistic and unable to tell whether or not a man was taken. He was her's after all. Ever since tenth grade at the-

"Leeaaafy~I have apology chocolate~" His mildly amused smirk and a mysterious box of chocolates dangled in front of her face, dangerously close.

_'Apology chocolate?'_

Leaf snatched the food away but refused the "apology" part. "You owe me more than food. Six months of food and begging on your knees wouldn't even do it."

The umbrella tapped Gary's chest in warning and he grabbed at it, pulling the umbrella to his side, effectively pulling her closer again . "How about a nice dinner and an explanation?"

She conceded with a sigh. "Fine. Lead away."

* * *

_ Lyra was back._

Paul was thanking his lucky stars he'd insured everything. First Dawn, then May, and now Lyra.

He must've seriously irked Lady Luck.

Standing right in front of him, looking not unlike a cat that'd dragged home a dead mouse, was his boss, dripping paint on the cherrywood floor as she rummaged through her travel pack.

"I brought something back for you." She beamed.

_'Oh Arecus._ Please _let this not be like the Lavender Town curse doll from last time.'_

He gave the proffered package a poorly concealed look of disdain and poked at it; hopefully she couldn't see that he was dialing the exorcist under the counter.

If he dragged it out, Brock could at least get the holy water ready.

"Open it," Dawn and May chanted. Feeling queasy, Paul wiped his hands on his apron and went over his options:

-Pocket it for burning later and risk Lyra's anger.

-Open it now and risk having a creepy-as-hell item in his possession.

-Speaking of possession, he could just drop to his knees and start praying.

-Refuse it and receive Lyra's anger.

His boss tapped her foot impatiently. "I'm getting bored! Just do it!"

Well, here was no time like the present to screw things up.

As his breathing slowed to a halt, he tugged apart the wrapping and promptly felt like killing himself.

It was a _book._

It was an Arceus-damned book.

To make it even better, it was an _Arceus-damned_ book written by Gary the _Fucking_ Oak about how to please your partner during _intercouse._

He wasn't sure if he wanted to commit homicide or suicide.

"What...is this?" His sounded irritated though he felt more like crying than throwing a temper tantrum. Off in the background, Paul was vaguely aware of Dawn and May laughing so hard they were crying but that didn't matter right now.

Lyra shrugged and smirked. "You seem the kind to suck in bed and I didn't want poor Dawn to suffer for your uneducated mistakes."

If he weren't caught up in his misery, Paul would have made some scathing but undoubtedly witty remark but as things stood, he couldn't even remember to breath.

There were so many questionable choices he had made in his lifetime but working here had certainly taking the cake.

_'What am I doing with my life?'_

Not for the first time was Paul faced with an existential crisis.


End file.
